to have you crying by my side in laughter
Would bring more pleasure than your touch
But if you were so inclined,
I would accept
Every dark desire within your soul
And help ease your loneliness
If you would burden me with the abundant joy of your love.
it was an episode.
It took up thirty minutes of my life.
Yours is a double feature on loop.
I blew smoke into your face hoping to blind you from how little I cared about your frivolous passions,
You were always all talk.
Guess it should have been obvious in the way that you had let “gorgeous” spill out from between your lips only to disappear into another world, forgetting me.
You never took me by the hand to explain what you meant when you said “love,” instead you came by to tell me that you needed to be mine,
and in my loneliness I believed that I could leave whenever I pleased but you held on tight, needing me to fulfill your childish desires.
When I called you a child you threw a fit, you thought I was ignorant for knowing that with every age there’s a certain struggle.
You were always looking for a half pitched reason to ditch me for someone more.
I want a girl that’s not ruining her life, one cookie, one late assignment at a time.
I want a girl that knows what she wants and doesn’t have me on her mind.
I want someone that doesn’t text me at 2 am asking to speak with me about absolutely anything because her mind is so unbearable that she has to escape into a boring conversation in order to keep her from feeling all her flighty twenty-something thoughts, as though ‘flighty’ weren’t implied in her age.
She’s so constantly stressed that she can’t even move, a girl like her simply won’t do.
It’s that time of night when I fight myself again
I’m scared of the side effects that you could have
Maybe the worst side effect you’ll give me is release.
I’ve been trying to sleep without you every night this week.
blood chilling, bone biting, heart aching
when I get close that’s all I can feel,
ice cold water flowing through my veins
body begging to be warmed
by your hands and sweet lips.
a storm is rolling in, the tree whipping back and forth in the harsh wind
It turns to me in hope of sin
Turned back by the push of the gale rushing through
“Don’t forget me”
Oh, but I never could
Let me tease you, taste you,
and feel the softness of your skin pressed against mine.
In the moment that our bodies met
it struck me that you weren’t the one
our pleasure a symphony of cries,
you’re not who I thought
and I’m not what you want.
so my artwork inspired you to compliment me
and my poetry did nothing,
my crafts were a bore
and my incessant love an annoyance
so here I am alone writing this while
I tear down the pieces of you embedded so deeply under my skin
I hope that someone else will come along
and hug me till the broken parts mend.
I let the smoke fill my lungs
it was drowning me
And pulling me into the depths of the unknown
Burning my insides bright red
The waves of the room
Rock me back and forth
Forcing me into a seasick lullaby
I’m hoping that you will hear my cries
But this all consuming high
Can’t call you
And neither can I
My sorrow’s holding me down
And begging me to release it
But I can’t escape my own mind
You’re inside and screaming
I’m screaming your name
and there’s no response from you
instead a handsome, sweet, man comes running in with worry on his face
he rushes to me and holds me close
while you’re miles and miles away unknowing of this pain.